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You Shouldn't Express Anger When You're on a Healing Path?

“Leaving work yesterday I was so frustrated with my boss I pounded the roof of my car” a client said at the beginning of her session. “I read a post from another spiritual teacher. She said you shouldn’t express anger and frustration in that way because instead of releasing it, that behavior reinforces the anger and drives it in deeper. What’s your opinion?”

There’s a big difference between identifying with negative emotions and getting stuck in them and honoring, embracing and moving through them. When we identify with an emotion we become it. If we continue to identify with a particular feeling, such as anger, it becomes our habitual state.

Our being is love and joy. Even though we may be disconnected from it, the quality of our being never changes. Emotions are messages that let us know whether or not we’re connected to being-ness. When we’re connected we feel peace. When we’re disconnected we experience discomfort. Uncomfortable emotions contain wisdom that can help us reconnect to our being.

When we try to ignore, disconnect or push a feeling away, it remains inside and continues trying to get our attention. If we keep refusing to honor it, the feeling may become illness or misfortune. In order to not get stuck, or to free ourselves from unresolved hurts, we have to be present to emotions and feel them all the way through.

Most of us have triggers. My husband’s messiness is a trigger for me. He leaves crumbs on the table, counter and floor, groceries out, cabinets open, clothes, mail, keys and other belongings strewn about. Chaos disturbs me, so my immediate responses tend to be exasperation and frustration. But although I may grumble in the moment, I don’t hold onto it.

In the past I’ve criticized and demanded that he clean up. Often he got defensive and we’d lock into a battle of wills. Now, more often, instead of reacting, I take a breath. Breathing reconnects me. If I must say something, I say it calmly and patiently. Other times, although it’s difficult, the thing to do is just clean it myself.

When I examined my resistance to cleaning up after him, I saw that it stemmed from fear of being taken advantage of. In the milieu I was raised in, men expected women to be subservient. That pissed me off.

Paying attention to and honoring the frustration and difficulty showed me that these feelings came from an old fear. The realization brought me into the present. Present, I recognized that my husband, who treats me like a goddess, is not trying to take advantage of me. We simply have different personalities. He approaches life in an extremely flexible way and my approach is highly structured. I need order, he’s oblivious.

This realization lets me accept him the way he is. I no longer need to be on constant guard against exploitation. The feelings were messages that when traced back showed me an old fear that I needed to release. Releasing the fear and appreciating our differences makes things sweeter. I can discern when I need to say something and when to let it go.

Each of us being so extreme in our approach makes us great teachers for each other. We’re helping each other find the middle. Honoring frustration let me see this truth. If I choose to identify with the frustration or try to push it away, instead, I continue to express the old pattern. The outcome is disharmony.

When experiencing an uncomfortable feeling, locate it in your body. Breathe into it gently and surround it with acceptance. Give it some space and allow it show or tell you what it needs to say. Be open and receptive to whatever the feeling may reveal.

You may receive a message or have a revelation that reconnects you to your being. Or another layer may reveal itself. Like archeologists, we sometimes have to sift through multiple layers until we reach treasure. Continue staying present with the messages and sensations. Eventually you will reach your wise, peaceful center.

Honoring your emotions and moving through them takes practice. The more you practice the easier it gets and the less often you’ll get stuck in negativity.

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Intuitive Energy Healing

Copyright 2020 - Jane St. Croix Ireland - Intuitive Energy Healing