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4 Steps to Turn Frustration > Positive Change

Getting angry doesn’t make you bad.

Neither does sadness, or any other negative emotion.

Gina directs a non-profit that serves developmentally delayed adults. Her interns were scheduled to help serve at a client luncheon. They told her they were going out to get coffee on their break, and they didn’t come back. Gina was left holding the bag.

She was frustrated and disgusted. This wasn’t the first time the interns had flaked. How could they be so selfish? What the hell were they thinking?

She’d corrected them before and now here we go again. “I feel like such a bitch” she said.

Whaaat? It was the interns who were behaving badly, but Gina was the one feeling like a bitch for having to say something? Have you ever felt like the bad guy for speaking up when someone else is out of line?

On top of that, Gina was mad at herself for getting angry.

Growing up, Gina’s stepmom had been an out-of-control rage-a-holic. She threw things and hit Gina and her sister. Understandably, Gina had interpreted that anger was REALLY BAD and she was reluctant to own it within herself, much less express it.

Yet anger is a natural response to incongruency. It’s your soul saying something’s not right.

Anger, sadness and other negative emotions are powerful energies. If you honor them, don’t try to push them away, don’t get lost in them, they can fuel positive change.


1. Recognize that your feeling is not wrong or bad. It’s just a feeling that’s trying to tell you something. You are not wrong or bad for feeling it.

2. Breathe into the feeling. Hold it and listen to what it has to say.

3. As you breathe into the feeling, set the mind’s story aside.

4. As you do this, the feeling may dissolve. It may reveal information that reconnects you to the peace that’s always present in the center of your being. It may reveal how to deal with the situation. Just be open and allow the feeling to unfold its wisdom.

When I took Gina through this process, her energy shifted. She reconnected to her power. “I’m still going to say something” she said, but her demeanor had totally changed. No longer frustrated and upset, she was calm. She had accepted herself and she saw how to approach the situation from strength.

Have you ever had similar experiences? Have you felt bad about yourself for getting angry when others behave badly?

Have you taken on others’ stuff and felt like the bad guy for speaking up?

What if you honored and got to the other side of your feelings?


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