The Octopus Effect: Why “Doing More” Doesn’t Fix High Functioning Anxiety

“I long to feel safe and relaxed,” a client admitted recently. “But I feel like I have to keep doing, doing, doing to prove myself. I’m like an octopus—all these arms reaching out to manage everything at once, just trying to be okay.”

Tense shouldered, tight-jawed, chronically stressed she was exhausted by self-criticism, overthinking and second-guessing.

“What if I made the wrong decision by taking this job?” 

Her stomach hurt. Often.

She believed that her value was a wage earned through effort. She wasn’t taught that it’s her natural state. 

“Not enough-ness" makes us grasp for love and support, but we inadvertently push it away by grabbing at it. 

“Sure, I’ll go pick up your dog,” even when we’re exhausted and want to say “no.” Then we feel taken for granted. 

When we vibrate unworthiness, the world mirrors it back to us.

DISSOLVING THE EXHAUSTING “NOT ENOUGH” PATTERN  

Honoring an emotion isn't about wallowing in it or letting it drive the bus. I helped my client break the cycle by learning to honor the “not enough” feeling, rather than obey it. 

The process involved:

1. Acknowledging: Naming the feeling without judgment. "There’s a feeling of unworthiness here."
   

2. Locating: Finding it in the body. For her it was tightness in her shoulders.
   

3. Allowing: She sat respectfully with the feeling. Didn't try to "fix" it or push it away, just allowed it to be. When you witness an emotion, it stops needing to scream to get your attention. It begins to soften.
   

4. Receiving the Message: “Trust me, you’re o.k.,” whispered her inner wisdom after a time. She’d cleared the static and the truth revealed itself. She felt relieved. 

CENTERED INSTEAD OF ANXIOUS: RECONNECTING WITH YOUR NATURE 

As my client went beyond “not-enough-ness”, her "octopus arms” retracted. When she reconnected with her Essential Nature–the space where you’re o.k. just as you are–she stopped anxiously clutching outward. A peaceful knowing resonated throughout her body. 

When you locate your safe sanctuary, anxiety recedes. You move with personal power and do what brings you joy–finishing your watercolor, gardening–instead of trying to ward off catastrophe or earn the right to rest.

And then feel too guilty or preoccupied to enjoy it.

You experience creativity and inner peace, even amidst uncertainty. 

WHAT’S YOUR EXPERIENCE?

Are your “octopus arms” running the show?

Reply in the comments below.